This is supposed to be the happy time of year but it brings back all the memories...i didn't even feel like getting a tree or anything to decorate. Then I found Spike's paw stocking in the attic and Bertie's too (she was my border collie). I cried. I cried last nite when I was cleaning up and found some photos of Spike and Bertie someone took of us just last year on the beach. I just can't comprehend the loss of Spike. I know I was also devastated when Bertie died but Spike was different...he always clung to me, everywhere I went, he would follow, into the rooms, he would push the door open even when I was in the shower and sit outside the tub. Whenever I went out, I couldn't wait to get home to see that happy little man at the window waiting for me. He's gone. I still have his bichon sister peaches and I love her and hug her so tight sometimes I think I'll crush her but she's not "attached" to me like Spike was.
You are not shallow with the way you feel...you are just in pain from the loss of a part of who you are. You had the best 17 years of life with Toby and you will both be reunited one day again. I hope the new year brings you peace. At least this section of yorkietalk enables us to share our grief. Time will help ease the pain. Jenny - Spike's mom
