[Shelby&Seymour]

I can't imagine going thru what you have. There is a gal at work who lost a good friend a few years ago, and she still has a difficult time (especially at Christmas time.... because that is when her friend died).
I think it may be a good idea to find someone to talk to....... like a pastor, counselor, or even a friend. I think it would help you to express to someone (face to face) your feelings................ and I am so sorry about your co-worker/friend. You have my sympathy.