[jenn1381]

I'm going back into lurking mode... I had a tough realization this week that this is not the right time for me to be getting a Yorkie.

A co-worker died on Monday, right in front of me. I did everything I could to save him, but I could not. I worked with him for nearly 7 years, and he was more than a co-worker, he was a friend.

My parents are essentially telling me to "get over it". I sure wish it only took 4 days to get over it, but it does not and it will not. This incident changed me forever, it was a traumatizing event that will never ever leave my head. Get over it is not the right thing to say.

I've realized that I wanted a dog because I am so unhappy with my current living situation.. I mean, I love dogs, and one day I WILL have my Yorkie because I love the breed... but I was putting too much pressure on the dog to make everything ok and to make me happy again. While I am sure it would have cured some of the loneliness, it's MY job to make me happy, not my dogs. I will never be happy in this house, it's easier to be alone than it is to be ridiculed for having feelings and being sad and traumatized from watching someone I care about die and not being able to help him. Every extra cent I have will now be saved to get me out of this house and far far away. When I am settled somewhere else and content, I will continue my search for the Yorkie I know will bring me much love and joy. One day.

Thank you for all your advice, I will carry that with me until I am ready to resume my search. Hug those you love and make sure they know you care, including your furbutts. Things can change within seconds, literally. Another hard lesson learned.

Take care everyone.