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  I'm sorry your life has taken a hard turn lately. Things are very tough for many right now and it's very sad. I'm glad you came back to tell people what happened, but I truly hope you make things right with your customers that had their money taken in by you, but did not get their item in return. 
 Money should absolutely always be held seperately until the customer has received their items and are happy with the product and it definitely shouldn't be spent on other things until the item/s have been shipped out to the customer at the very least. It hurts all small business owners in general when these things happen because it breaks down customer trust.
 
 I don't mean to come off harsh, and I'm glad you came back to explain -- but if you did pay other (personal) bills with money that was from clients who never got their items, that is just very wrong and I hope that you are planning to reimburse them their money.
 
 YT is definitely full of friends and even feels like family to some, but when you take on the task of selling it is a different situation, imo.
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