[jenn1381]

I've thought about Freeway every single day since the day he died, and I still cry for him every so often. It's crazy, but I even had the date he died wrong in my signature. I realized that as I went back through some of the stuff I had written during that time. It's funny how sometimes we can push things, such as a date, so far out of our heads... a coping mechanism perhaps. I always find the whole month of May really hard, so I guess the actual day just didn't stick as the years passed.

I've come to the conclusion that Christmas is hard. The holidays are always tough, but since we lost him they've been even harder. This year, I also am dealing with my first Christmas without my grandma as well, and I sware, it's nearly enough to send me over the deep end. I'm hanging in, holding tight to the knowledge that better days lay ahead, and that this time next year I will be sharing Christmas with my first yorkie. That gives me a little bit of comfort, but I am 100% emotionally drained, and it's getting worse as the 25th gets closer.

I wrote this shortly after I lost Freeway, and while he wasn't a yorkie, we all love our animals the same no matter the breed. I figured some of you might be able to relate and thought maybe it might bring some of you who are grieving right now some comfort. It honestly does comfort me to be able to remember all he gave, and that those feelings still remain. Hang in there and know it does get easier as time passes... not easy.. just easier.

My Little Miracle



Every breath was a miracle
Every bark such a joy
Every mess you made with a treat
Every loud squeak of every toy

Every single kiss good morning
And the good night kisses too
My baby, they were all such pleasures
And to my heart they quickly flew

Every punishment I gave
Every angry word I said
Was swiftly replaced with so much love
As you’d come to lay your head

Every tear I cried in solitude
They were always heard by you
And you’d rush to my side to comfort
And comfort is exactly what you’d do

With you I was never alone
You’d always get past that line
Pushing past the black the world had left
You brought me light, sweet baby of mine

Without you I am so broken
Each day harder than the last
Would do anything to hold you
Like the sweet days in the past

To feel your soft fur in my fingers
To see the love in your eyes
To know you felt comforted and safe
To hear your soft and soothing sighs

Oh, how I long for you tonight
And every night I live
To have you at my feet right now
There’s nothing I wouldn’t give

How to go on without you
I haven’t quite figured out
I do know I will miss you forever
Of this I have no doubt

I pray that you are happy
No more fear, no more pain
Have fun while you wait for me
One day we’ll be together again

I continue on each day, broken
But thankful that you were here
For life without knowing you
Wouldn’t have been worth it, my sweet dear

For every breath was a miracle
Every step of furry paws
Every kiss so quickly broke
All of my hearts so stringent laws

For teaching me how to love
And loving me in return
You were my little miracle
And for you I will forever yearn.