Okay, I have been reading this thread for a while, and I finally decided to post. I was trying to figure out how he could eat Crown molding,( in Canada that is the fancy trim around the ceiling)
First of all this is my opinion and only my opinion, you say he does whatever your husband wants right? Perhaps, he does not see you as an Alpha, he needs to see you as a pack leader. You need to be assertive with him, these guys are like kids, if he thinks he can get away with it he's going to do it. When your admonish him, make sure that it is firm, kind but firm.
When, he potties in his crate, have you cleaned it out thoroughly, using a disinfectant or a pet deodorizer, to eliminate all scent. These little guys have a strong sense of smell. That could be one reason for him going potty in his crate. Also as people have said make the crate a warm cozy place somewhere that he wants to be.
When I crate trained my girls, I put them in it during the day for small periods of time to get them used to it ,I was still in the room. I started with 15 min on up they now will stay in there when I need to go out. I also tell them I am leaving and will be back in a little while. This seems to work for me.
As to peeing on your bed, accidents happen I understand why you are upset.
Vinegar is good but I wouldn't want to smell vinegar when I went to bed.
I don't know in the States if you have OUT! but I highly recommend their products. I use OUT! pet odor and stain remover it smells like baby powder and it takes all kinds of stains out, even things like tea. Yes, I am a Klutz. I buy it at Walmart, make sure it says Odor and Stain.
Any how hang in there, the puppy stage can be trying, but it really is well worth the effort.
Tammy