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Darlin Beauxs · 11-06-2008, 01:19 PM

Im am going to try to make this is as short as I can, but it will be hard.

I have a friend I've known since I was 14. Because of this, she is really more like family, to me. We fell out of touch for a few years, over a dumb argument her MARRIED boyfriend started between us. Her parents and other sister still continued to come to our home and visit when they passed thru, so when thier Dad passed away, I was right there.

My friend had developed a serious drinking and drug habit during the time we were estranged. She went to rehab and/or was hospitalized 5 times in 2 years for drug and alcohol issues. She always started back using again, each time more worse than before.

I have believed her EVERYTIME she said she was going to get clean. I have bought groceries, and paid to get her vehicle from storage for no insurance, beleiveing everytime that she was going to straighten up.

Anyway, in May of this year, she tried to kill herself by taking a whole bottle of xanax. She did this because she failed to make her bankruptcy payments, and her house was going into foreclosure.

So we staged a mini-intervention. I am a notary, so I drew up a Power of Attorney for her sister to handle her affairs, and we all agreed that this is it--if she walked off, NO ONE was giving her a home. The caseworker found an long-term (6-36 mo) rehab, which happens to be in my city. It is Christian based, and free!

Not a month after she went in rehab, we discovered she is pregnant. I ended up having to get the power of attorney revoked, and I handle her business, because her sister sold off all of her belongings of value (appliances, etc) and blew the money, and her last 2 paychecks--all gone. All she has left is the income tax and stimulus checks that came to my home, because I changed her mailing address.

At first, I thought she was doing well. After 90 days, she gets bimonthly overnite visits. She comes to my home since her brother in law will not allow her in his home, and her stepfather still drinks.

Here is my issue: every time she comes here, she thinks it is about HER. Where she wants to go, we should only do what SHE wants, etc. She cries and pouts when things don't go her way. She thought I should arrange a booty call with another male friend of hers, I told her no way. It is always a fight. I get ridiculed by everyone for dealing with it. Husband and I feel that I am doing enough by supporting her when no one else has, and she needs to fit in to our lifestyle, not the other way around.

On the last weekend she didn't come here, I went to visit her, and they made her ask me to leave, since she didn't fill out her paperwork to request a visitor. Nice, huh?

Also, this has caused tension at home, because husband is a neat freak, and I have a garage PACKED with her belongings, which will be here indefinitely. I told her to please not ask her mother to drop off anything else here, because it causes problems. She asked her mother to bring the rest of her clothes, the rehab said it was ok for her to have them. It filled up the back of a van. When her mother got there, they told her that *** could not have that many belongings, and they did nt have time to search it. So it came to my house too.

Anyhow, this past Sat night she was here. I told her ahead of time that we would be chaperoning my neighbor child's halloween party. When the party started, we walked over and I introduced her to the couple, She stayed there for five minutes, then announced IN FRONT OF THEM--that these were my friends, not hers, and she was uncomfortable and wanted to go home.

I have never been so embarrassed. I told her to go on and go, but the next morning I took her back an hour early, without letting her stop for cigarrettes, and told her that if she was so selfish that she couldn't try to participate in what I had going on, there was no point in her coming. I told her I would still attend all the support meetings I am required to go to (2x per mo), and if she wanted me to visit, I would.

I called this week and she left me off her visitors list. I feel so used and hurt. I want to cry, but I can't. It makes me sick to my stomach because everyone told me this is how she would act. I am so sorry to type my life out, but I have no one to talk to about this, because my husband says if I am going to talk about her, he is not listening. Everyone else laughs and says I told you so.

Please give me some help.

11-06-2008, 01:19 PM	#1
Darlin Beauxs Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Monroe, La, Us Posts: 1,326 Blog Entries: 1	Unbiased Advice Needed Im am going to try to make this is as short as I can, but it will be hard. I have a friend I've known since I was 14. Because of this, she is really more like family, to me. We fell out of touch for a few years, over a dumb argument her MARRIED boyfriend started between us. Her parents and other sister still continued to come to our home and visit when they passed thru, so when thier Dad passed away, I was right there. My friend had developed a serious drinking and drug habit during the time we were estranged. She went to rehab and/or was hospitalized 5 times in 2 years for drug and alcohol issues. She always started back using again, each time more worse than before. I have believed her EVERYTIME she said she was going to get clean. I have bought groceries, and paid to get her vehicle from storage for no insurance, beleiveing everytime that she was going to straighten up. Anyway, in May of this year, she tried to kill herself by taking a whole bottle of xanax. She did this because she failed to make her bankruptcy payments, and her house was going into foreclosure. So we staged a mini-intervention. I am a notary, so I drew up a Power of Attorney for her sister to handle her affairs, and we all agreed that this is it--if she walked off, NO ONE was giving her a home. The caseworker found an long-term (6-36 mo) rehab, which happens to be in my city. It is Christian based, and free! Not a month after she went in rehab, we discovered she is pregnant. I ended up having to get the power of attorney revoked, and I handle her business, because her sister sold off all of her belongings of value (appliances, etc) and blew the money, and her last 2 paychecks--all gone. All she has left is the income tax and stimulus checks that came to my home, because I changed her mailing address. At first, I thought she was doing well. After 90 days, she gets bimonthly overnite visits. She comes to my home since her brother in law will not allow her in his home, and her stepfather still drinks. Here is my issue: every time she comes here, she thinks it is about HER. Where she wants to go, we should only do what SHE wants, etc. She cries and pouts when things don't go her way. She thought I should arrange a booty call with another male friend of hers, I told her no way. It is always a fight. I get ridiculed by everyone for dealing with it. Husband and I feel that I am doing enough by supporting her when no one else has, and she needs to fit in to our lifestyle, not the other way around. On the last weekend she didn't come here, I went to visit her, and they made her ask me to leave, since she didn't fill out her paperwork to request a visitor. Nice, huh? Also, this has caused tension at home, because husband is a neat freak, and I have a garage PACKED with her belongings, which will be here indefinitely. I told her to please not ask her mother to drop off anything else here, because it causes problems. She asked her mother to bring the rest of her clothes, the rehab said it was ok for her to have them. It filled up the back of a van. When her mother got there, they told her that *** could not have that many belongings, and they did nt have time to search it. So it came to my house too. Anyhow, this past Sat night she was here. I told her ahead of time that we would be chaperoning my neighbor child's halloween party. When the party started, we walked over and I introduced her to the couple, She stayed there for five minutes, then announced IN FRONT OF THEM--that these were my friends, not hers, and she was uncomfortable and wanted to go home. I have never been so embarrassed. I told her to go on and go, but the next morning I took her back an hour early, without letting her stop for cigarrettes, and told her that if she was so selfish that she couldn't try to participate in what I had going on, there was no point in her coming. I told her I would still attend all the support meetings I am required to go to (2x per mo), and if she wanted me to visit, I would. I called this week and she left me off her visitors list. I feel so used and hurt. I want to cry, but I can't. It makes me sick to my stomach because everyone told me this is how she would act. I am so sorry to type my life out, but I have no one to talk to about this, because my husband says if I am going to talk about her, he is not listening. Everyone else laughs and says I told you so. Please give me some help.