[nneessaa]

It Will Never Be Enough


I want a dog

I want a dog to hold, to kiss and play with

I want a dog to run and teach tricks

I want a dog that’s happy to see me and comforts me when I’m sad

I want a dog to go want to get up and go with me wherever I want to go

I want a dog more than anything in the world
But it's never enough

I get almost a 4.0

I always clean my room and do my chores

I take care of my rabbit and pay for everything

I do sports and participate in school activities

I always try my hardest and I stick to my word
I have a lot of caring friends that support me

I have never done anything I wasn’t supposed to

I always follow my parents’ rules

But it’s never enough

I keep my dog alive, even though I know he’s in pain

Because I cannot live without a dog

I look for the perfect dog everyday

Yet I know it will never be mine

I tear myself apart inside

And set myself up for things I know will never happen

I plan out what I’ll buy the dog

But I know I’ll never get to buy them

All these things I do that cause the suffering of myself and others

There is no point, I’ll never get a dog

Still, it’s always on my mind

What if I was allowed a dog?

Everything would change

What if I could have my one dream?

I still wish for it everyday

I’d walk it, I’d feed it

I’d clean up it’s poop

I’d train it and love it

I’d pay for it too

Why, then do they get to decide?

It’s my dream and what I truly want

So, why then, do they get to control my dream?

There is no logical reason why I can’t get a dog

So, now, I sit here

Typing this up

When there’s no point

Since it will never make a difference

I would run until my legs couldn’t run any longer

I’d quit any activity and stop spending money

I would clean the house everyday

And still get good grades

Why, then, is it never enough?

I just don’t understand

I don't know why I typed that up. Perhaps I wanted to share with the world what I wish my parents could understand. I would do anything to get a dog. My dog is sooo old and was never a perfect dog (aggression issues I couldn't control when I was younger, now I am much more responsible). I have wanted a Cavalier, Yorkie, or Papillon for quite some time now. I am very responsible and I get out at 12:30 from school so I have plenty of time for the dog.

I almost got a dog once before, but nothing ever works out. The dog has to be perfect in any way (house trained, fixed, obedience trained, good with people/dogs/cats, hardly barks, etc), but even then there is a very small chance I would actually get it. There aren't many perfect dogs out there but I still continue looking, since I know there is a small chance I would get it. My parents won't support me at all in this decision. I don't know what to do with myself.

Vanessa