[KiKiPie]

Is there anyone here that has suffered with this? If you are comfortable with talking about it, would you please pm me?
I have lost 45 pounds over the last 6-7 months. I started at 150 lbs. (I know thats not too bad) Several family members have always commented on how fat and chubby I was. My husband never said that, but I knew he thought it by little things he said. I finally felt so sick about myself I went to a "Dr" my friend was going to and got some rx diet pills. (I know they are terrible for you, I think they killed half my brain cells) But I took them for three months and started exercising. I havent taken any pills in 3 months but I live my life all day everyday waiting to gain weight again. If I eat a lot one day, I just hate myself and can't stop thinking about it. So the next day I will just eat one serving of fruit because I am so upset with myself. I LOVE food. I crave ice cream and desserts like a crazy person. Growing up (and still) my mom an I have always LOVED ice cream and use to go to Baskin Robbins or DQ 4 times a week. Anyway, I have never shared any of this with anyone, so please don't bash me. I really wanted to talk about it and see what I can do to not be obsessed every single day of my life about it.