Maybe this will help...I heard this joke years ago and I think it might fit here! I just hope I can tell it without getting in trouble!
There were 3 southern girls meeting for lunch one day and the first one started bragging about the things her Daddy had given her. She said "My Daddy sent me to the best finishing schools money can buy". The second girl was jealous and the third girl simply said, with a smile, "That's nice". The second girl wouldn't be outdone and had to get her turn in so she said "Well, my Daddy buys me anything I want, he buys me pretty clothes, beautiful jewelry and the finest things money can buy". The first girl snubbed her nose and the third girl said, again with a smile, "That's nice". So, the first two girls wanted to know what the third girl's Daddy had done for her so she looked at them with a shy but firm look and said "My Daddy taught me that no matter how rude or ugly people can be or how much they bragg don't ever stoop to their level...just look at them with a smile and say 'That's nice' instead of **** you!"
Maybe your father in law needs a shy but firm southern smile followed by a polite "That's nice"!
