 You Are The Boss!
I really do believe that this can be overcome. Please try the different ideas that will submitted to you before you surrender your furbaby. I know how upsetting this is to you , however, you are the MOM. You are the boss.
Lets face it, we all adore our precious pups. We do tend to spoil them (a great deal) They inevitably get the impression that they are "the king and queen" of the home. Usually there is no extreme problems, so they experience our loving acceptance and gentle "No No" as the extent of our dissatisfaction when they 'mis behave".
Only a short time ago I got a darling "tiny" Pom Pappillon male (5 mos old). I came accross him unexpectantly. I felt compelled to purchase him because he was living in less than optimal circumstances. I was positive that "Biscuit" would be excited to have a tiny playmate, as "Leipshen" my Schnauzer is 12 ys and blind (no fun).
The two got along famously and for the first time "Biscuit " was "the big brother" . Last week I noticed that "Biscuit" was being a bit selfish with the toys. He also would push his way in between myself and "Bubby" giving extreme kisses to me trying to divert me from paying attention to "Bubby". I was gentle with 'Biscuit" always sharing the affection and explaining that "Bubby was his brother and needed love too. I have never even yelled at "Biscuit" , he is such a good boy and being a shy puppy, I have always just babied him to death. He deserves it.
Well the other night I was reading on the bed, both pups were on the bed with me. I looked up and spoke to "Biscuit" . then I gave Bubby sweet words, the next thing I know "Biscuit" walked over to "Bubby" and was all "Bowed up" like in an aggressive stance, and then he growled and snapped quickly at him and was going back again.
I immediately grabbed "Biscuit" from underneath , swiftly bringing him to my face. He yelped because I scared him and then my face was in his. I looked him in the eye, with a very angry look. (something he had never seen, ) I spoke in a very low and determined voice, and I squinted my eyes. I was holding him above me slightly and he was petrified. I said" Dont't you ever snap at Bubby again" I looked over at Bubby and back at him. I set him down , did not look at Bubby again, and told Biscuit to go lay down at the end of the bed. I continued reading. I did not coddle Bubby so as to further aggrivate the jealousy. About 15 minutes later, Biscuit slowly, tail tucked came to me. I loved him and told him he must be good to Bubby. In a few minutes they were playing again.
There have been two incidents since, however, they have never esculated because all I have to do is give Biscuit that look and speak low and he remembers and forgets. his attitude.
I am sure I will have to address the problem again, just as human children take awhile to "get it", so do our furbabies.
Good luck and be patient. JeanieK was right on about not coddling Bella when she is cowering. In fact chances are that Bella is reacting to "Your Upset reaction" when this happens , even more that to Gracie. If you show how much this upsets you, Bella will react by becoming more afraid. The next thing you know...she is more afraid of you , than of Gracie. At different times of the day, bring Bella into a room and give her focused love and reassurance, then return to normal. REMEMBER...stay calm and emotionally in control when dealing with the problem as it happens, be determined and keep eye contact with Gracie...letting her know that you will NOT stand for this behavior. YOU ARE THE LEADER OF THIS PACT.
Hope it helps
Patti |