[sammiz]

Continuation:

There was a baby that shared her room that was also there for cleft lip and palate surgery. His deformity showed me how blessed we truly were because he had a bilateral cleft lip and palate. (One on each side). He had nobody with him. He was always all alone. I tried to comfort him and stayed in trouble for that as well. His family came only on weekends. Scads of them. They would all gang in, stay for about thirty minutes and leave. He sobbed like his heart was breaking and it probably was. Mine too. I would hold him to feed him his bottle and when the nurses found me doing it they yelled at me a lot. When I changed his diapers, more yelling. Poor, poor baby. It got to the point to where the best I could do for him was to rub his back. He would hold his little arms out to me and I couldn’t pick him up as I wasn’t allowed. They had told me that if they caught me with him again, they would make me leave. When we went home, I wanted to take him, too.

I had noticed that the serum oozing from her wounds of her nostrils were creating a ‘scab’ over the both nostril openings. They told me to leave it alone, it was supposed to be that way. Then, after a few days when it was completely covering, the head nurse came in and simply laid her down, got the tweezers and proceeded to rip these off saying it wasn’t supposed to be that way. My baby was hysterical! I told her I had asked repeatedly but was ignored and told to leave it alone. However, she insisted it was my fault. Egads! This place was a nightmare. The only blessing about it was the surgeon. His name is/was Wesley Flannigan and he was known worldwide for his work with cleft palate repair. He taught there. So even though we were dirt poor, God still provided us with the absolute best surgeon.

We finally got to go home and I was so glad to leave there. We still had many more surgeries to go, but had made it through the first one. MY daughter was so afraid of anyone who wore white after that. She became enveloped in pure terror over anyone dressed in white. I had to stop wearing white because it distressed her so. She identified her pain with the color, and why wouldn’t she? She had a baby mind that just couldn’t sort it all out.

There is so much more to this, for this was just the beginning but I am weary and emotionally drained just from remembering all of this pain and heartache.

This is just the beginning of the story. I just hope that I have been able to convey the pain involved in dealing with such. You cannot relax for a moment when dealing with the likes of this.

Whatever you chose to think or say about what I have written....throw rocks, laugh, or commiserate....this is a glimpse into my heart and why I must continue to fight for the rights of little Emma. I know she is a puppy.
But to me she is most definitely 'just a puppy' and I have to support efforts to help her because it is the right thing to do. My heart knows it and my mind knows it. She has special needs that need to be attended to.

This type of surgery cost lots and lots of money. If I had Emma here with me, I would be as dedicated to her as the dedication I am witnessing now. BUT....I would need help to have her medical needs met. I would beg, if necessary. I am not beyond or above it.

I just can't understand why some are working so hard against her. It breaks me heart and I cry over it. Please, please....don't. Enough is enough. Please let her have her chance. She deserves it. Truly

This is an open heartfelt plea. Please stop. It is not benifiting you in any way. How could it?

Sammi