Oh that is so tragic. My heart goes out for you. Your story resembles mine in some ways. I too had a partner, my little shadow Gizmo. He would have been four this past June. He was my only baby for three years, then this past November I fell in love with this very little baby in a local pet store. We brought her home and named her Tenci. Gizmo was very jealous of her as he had been the only baby for so long, but Gizmo had been a sick little boy most of his life which had led to him being Extra spoiled. Shortly after getting Tenci, Gizmo started getting worse and we made the decision to take him to University of Tennessee for Liver Shunt Surgery. I lost Gizmo on February 1 of this year after having the surgery. It was no fault of our vets, they were great, but I wanted to die too, I felt like my life had ended, and some days I still do. I feel so guilty for getting Tenci, I second guess myself about having the surgery done. I get so angry and feel so helpless now without him, but after losing Gizmo a friend of our family bought my son another yorkie puppy, not to replace Gizmo, but to give Tenci a friend. We got Trouble around the first of March. Although I thought he was was adorable and cute I could not bring my self to really love him. I felt like I was betraying Gizmo. In April I got two more yorkie puppies. One who is very small like my Tenci, the other is the same size as Trouble. I never thought that I would own four yorkies. Somedays they are overwhelming and I think what have I done????, but then they give me the look, and the kisses, and its what was I thinking??? I still Love and miss Gizmo every day, but I have learned to really love my Trouble, Tenci, Chip, & Gus. They each have found a special place in my heart. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. It will take time, but remember that she will always be with you. |