OH MY GOD, you lost your infant daughter????????? How did I ever miss that thread????
I'm so very, very sorry. You just don't know how bad that touched me. Prayers will go out for you and your family for sure.
Now, as for your dog, well you may need to find another Vet. and not the one your friend used. There is no reason a dog should die when put under. Ask the Vet. to test her first to see if she can tolerate the method used. I hope you can talk to your friend and have her go to another Vet. and get that baby spayed.