[Mom2BabyNatalie]

Well...... four hours at the vet's.....

The surgeon who originally did Emma's first surgery, left for a week the day he did her procedure.... so when we went back yesterday for the first repair... it was someone different..... who was unavailable today.... (I thought ONE of them would be there!)

So............ what we had today, was one of the doctors... (she was with the surgeon and assisted with the repair yesterday).

They got Emma right in, regardless of the huge number of people in the waiting area.... (and the fact that they're only open from 1-3 on Sunday) - which was nice....

I talked, and questioned and cried a little..... and still wasn't getting much positivity from the consult...... really the only thing TO do, was stitch her back up.... which she did. This time from both sides of her muzzle and both inside and outside stitches.

The first photo shows the results of Emma's SECOND repair following her surgery....

No suggestions about how to keep it from happening again.... "it's her instinct to root like that with her nose... it's inevidable"....

I talked about feeding.... she suggested I keep "doing what I'm doing".... <<sigh>> that evidently is not good enough or I wouldn't have been there again!!

Anyway.... I asked her to measure Emma and mark a tube for me to take home in the event I absolutely needed it. (though she agreed that this was only if desperately needed since it could cause more harm than good in some cases)...

I had her put Emma on antibiotics since the incision is just so bad... and still open to an extent. We came home with Clavamox drops, of which I will give her 0.05cc 3 x daily.

I brought her home and JUST sat down to feed.... and the wound was open again.... I hadn't even put her down from the visit yet!!

This time, it didn't rip through the skin... it was just loose stitches...

I didn't think to snap a photo before jumping back in the car and heading BACK to the vet..... (even though they had "technically" closed 20 minutes prior)...

They had a slew of patients still in there when I left... so I knew there'd be no way the office was closed yet.....

So again, they take her straight to the back.... nurse comes out and says.... "the doctor said she's already done her best with this - and the last stitching was as tight as she could get them" (after I reiterated that Emma had NOT been rooting around and I hadn't even set her down... the stitches were simply too loose or not properly knotted or whatever - and fell out)....

Again I said the same thing.... (perhaps with a bit more desperation and certainly with much more "moxy")... the nurse went back to the doctor... returned... took Emma and said "she says she'll try one more time"....

(how very decent of her) <<pfffffffffft>>

So yep... I was a little irked to say the least... (this is not Emma's regular doctor... a very nice lady and I respect her... but really feel she could have been a little more compassionate... I don't know... maybe I'm expecting too much...)

Anyway.... we're home.... Emma's face is all but completely mangled.... there wasn't enough skin to close it entirely.... and no one is really even trying to create a "functional face" anymore I don't think.... just trying to get the incision closed and healed.... the rest will have to come later.

The second photo is Emma now.... her THIRD repair following surgery...

This is our last battle with this...... if the incision comes open again... I will just have to keep my girl in a little plastic bubble where she can be germ free until it heals however it may....

She can't nurse like this... the pain must be absolutely excrusiating by now.... can you IMAGINE having gone through everything that she has with NO PAIN MEDS??? No sedation.... nothing???

They're not even giving a local for the repairs at this point.... absolutely NOTHING..... (unless they gave it and didn't tell me about it... which I don't think is the case).

She can't open her mouth for the syringe OR the dropper right now.... so yeah... I did.... I had to tube her............................ and I HATED IT!!!

She fought me - and screamed - and sqirmed.... this, all before I even got the tube passed her tongue!! It's the pain of opening her mouth..... I felt like a MONSTER forcing her... but I know it can't be helped....

I pray to God that I got the tube in the tummy and not the lungs.... though I guess I'd know by now?? Maybe?? Ugh!!! I hate this!!!

Tubing is really no better than anything else.... it has lots of risks... lots of potential for infection... and the risk of aspiration is still there..... and I hate it hate it hate it!!! (did I mention I really don't like doing it?)

Not to mention... at least with her nursing... or taking the dropper or syringe... if she aspirates at all, it's gonna' be on a matter of DROPS.... a mouthful maybe...... if I get the tube in her lungs... she's gonna' get 2 full cc's filling her chest cavity!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

Moving on now..... (sorry)..... okay, so she's home... fed.... and wiggling around her "newly designed" crib. (which SHE HATES!!!)

No cuddlies... no snugglies.... nothing soft and cozy... smooth, flat and really kinda' scary for a lil' baby...... but necessary. Hopefully this will aid in keeping the stitches in place..... (I had nothing else to reach for - so this is the only SOMETHING I could think of that might help).

By the way.... several of you have asked if Emma needs anything.... it looks like we'll be going through crib sheets and receiving blankets like crazy and I don't have much of a "stash".... so if you'd like to share what you may have on hand, that would be wonderful!! Please PM me if you'd like to help...

I know it looks kinda' cold in there.... but no worries... I lowered the heat lamp closer for more warmth and it's perfectly comfortable temperature wise.

I know she'll be very upset with me that she doesn't get to have "full access" to her new snuggle puppy from Winston's Mom, when it arrives... but I figure I can put it inside a smooth pillowcase for her and she'll still get the benefit of the heat and the heartbeat that it gives.

Please continue to pray for our girl.... and that I don't hurt her by tubing!!!