Thank you everyone for wonderful birthday wishes
I actually started my birthday really bad early morning. I cannot describe what happened but emotional pain was just great... and having one of the worst panic attacks. I have a dear friend in Chicago.. who is everyone's favorite person on YT, Patti, has calmed me down through my panic attack.
There was a musical in Japan.. that I remembered going to see when I was very young. The musical was The Cat Who Wished to Be a Man, the story by Lloyd Alexanders. I don't remember much from the musical because I was little but always remembered one phrase. "(in my bad translation) People cannot live alone. If you have friends, very sad and scary things are not so sad and scary." I felt that so much today. I have no family in this country.. and often feel alone with Haruka.. (thank god, I have Haruka..) I was so grateful that Patti and my bf were around (Patti was on the phone with me for long time) ...otherwise I would have passed out from bad panic attack.
After taking some rest... I felt much better even I got freaked out with my puffy eyes (looks like bee bit me..)... I also dressed Haruka very nice to cheer me up. I should take some pics. I felt that this birthday was the worst birthday. Now I feel very grateful that there are people out there like you... wish me wonderful birthday. And it meant a lot to me today. So thank you.
p.s. I really thank YT for the fate and the opportunity to really get to know Patti. She is really "something"... and I love our friendship very much despite our age difference (just kidding...) Patti has been definitely someone very special for me. And I felt so grateful that I have Patti as a greatest friend.