Hi there,
I need to let you know I will support you in any way that I can. My son has High functioing Autism as well. He was DX at the age of 4. He is now nearly 15. I am a single parent too. I know what your going through, but remember that the label's professionals use are not what makes your child.
My son has had special ed. services ever since his DX. He also use to take ADHD meds. He was extremely out of control when younger. But, they do tend to outgrow the hyperactivity. My son does not need those meds anymore.
You do have plenty of say so in regards to your childs education. There should be a IEP for her. Do not sign it unless you agree upon the services. The school is responsible for providing an education for your child in the least restrictive environment. This could mean that your child could have a full time assistant in her regular class, or if she needed to be placed in a special day class.
Each State is different. My son is currently in a special day class in high school. He is more on a 6-7yr old level . He is far behind his peers. but, is verbal.
The thing that you need to watch out for is that her peers are not bulling her. Sometimes, special needs kids are targets of meaness .
Now that your child has a diagnosis she can get the services . Look into you local Regional Center too. They provide services outside of school. They will Also be a support to your daughter's education. This is very important to have because they will come to your house and work with your child one on one.
PLease feel free to pm me for anything!
Things will be ok. I know how difficult it is at first to have your child labeled and diagnosed.