It's a fact that you cannot help someone that is not willing to try to help themselves. When you try, what you actually are doing is enabling them to continue on in the same pattern. This is not good for anyone of you.
I know you have joked about it but I also know how disruptive folks like this can be in a family (yours). I believe your home is your sanctuary from the world and if that is taken away, where do you have that you can go to find any peace and tranquility?
I know you will probably feel guilty, but he will find another someone/somewhere to laze around. UNTIL....maybe, he 'gets it' and puts some effort into his life. Nobody can motivate him to do that. He has to get there on his own.
I recently tried to help someone I thought was going to try really hard and get their life together. NOT! But it cost me nearly ten thousand dollars and that is one hard learned lesson. I feel badly for you and your husband. I know you do really want to help. He just won't assist you, though.
I hope you get things back to normal for you and your family soon. It's gotta be stressing you out so much!
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