Quote:
Originally Posted by carrieu  Oh, Tracy! I logged on to check on Maggy May and I saw this.
I am so very very sorry for your family. What a difficult week this has been for you. I sure wish I had the perfect words to take all the pain away and to help your family...but I just don't. I can not even imagine what you and your husband are going through right now. I have never lost a loved one to cancer. Wow...
When my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly, I immediately went into survival mode to take care of my mom, my grandmother, and all of the business that needed taking care of....I knew I just had to keep going until things got back to normal. I didn't let myself stop until almost two years later when I finally realized that things weren't EVER going to go back to normal...that THIS was the new normal. By then, everyone else had grieved, made peace with it, and moved on. And I was left needing to cry and break down and all of the support was gone...it was really hard for others to understand...I felt like it had just happened and everyone else was like..."but that was two years ago"...
I guess what I am saying is you will probably be offering a lot of support to your family and your husband and all of the things that will need to be taken care of now. And I hope that you can take the time to let yourself work through this, too. We sure will be here with a shoulder to cry on if you need it...even if its two years from now when you are done taking care of everyone else.
I am praying for your family right now.
<<<<<hugs>>>>>
Carrie |
Carrie,
Thank you so much for sharing such a hard part of your life with me, that takes true hard and compassion to look back at your own hurts to try and make things easier for someone else. I really appreciate it, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry you lost your Dad, having lost him unexpectedly had to be a real shock and so hard. I can relate to trying to take care of everyone else, I'm pretty much there right now. I allow myself quite times here and there to cry, I just try not to do it around everyone else cause their going through enough already. Kenny was my husbands brother (always will be even though he's passed on) but I've actually known Kenny since I was about 5 or 6 years old, however old I was when I was in kindergarden. It's so hard to put into words how I feel, he was one of those people you just thought would be around forever and had such an awesome heart. I miss him. When we got the call and were told that the docs only gave him 2-4 months to live, I knew it wasn't going to even be that long because of the condition he was in. I stood back out of the way cause I wanted my husband to be able to spend as much time with him as he could, to make moments together that really count and say the things to him he needed to say, you know, just "brother" time. In the midst of it all, I got to see Kenny at the family get together but not any personal time, as their were so many people there. When it was time to go, I gently put my arms around him and told him I loved him and I'd see him again, I wanted to come to the house and spend time with him. I really thought I'd have time to get over there and tell him how much he's meant to me in my life. When we took Maggy in to have her spayed, I wasn't planning on there being any complications, but, there was. Actually the day she split open was the day he passed away, and I was planning on going over that day and having my daughter sit with Maggy May while I went over to see Kenny. Well, I got to see him, but it was to late, he had already slipped into a coma and the chance to tell him the things I wanted to slipped right away. I'll carry that regret and it hurts, but I am thankful that Ross (my husband) got the time to be with Kenny one on one and tell him the things that were important to him before Kenny passed. We all love and learn, and I'll not waste another chance to tel those I love just what they mean to me.... Again, thank you so much for your kind words and support, it really means a lot.