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Originally Posted by blueeyes_jd  he was...  their mom ALWAYS did EVERYTHING even now as adults she still does EVERYTHING!!! so since shes gone they still think they can get away with it here... when he would just come to visit he would do the same thing... and I would tell him and his other brother that Im not their Mom or their slave... and that they needed to clean up after them selves... the brother that now lives here didnt do it then...  my hubby thankfully is not like him AT ALL!!! he helps!!! he cant stand a mess either... so he ends up cleaning up everything... and it makes me feel bad because hes working all day long... and then he comes home and cleans up his brothers mess...  yet if you go into his brothers room its clean... I just want him to clean up after himself and help pay for food... and to help once in awhile to do the dishes... this past sunday hubby told him that it was HIS turn to do the dishes... guess what he did??? he put his plate in the dishwasher and started it... and then left the rest of the dishes in the sink and said that the dishwasher was full... |
see the part I highlighted? You are not going to change a 30 year old man. What you need to do is stop feeling bad for your husband. It's HIS brother and HE is the one who has to work it out with him. Otherwise the BIL will come between the two of you. If it was me, I'd stay out of it and let the two of them duke it out themselves. You will not win this battle and it's your husband's problem. I know that sounds harsh, but believe me, I've been there. You have to just stay out of it and let them work it out between themselves. It sucks that you have to live with your BIL's mess but I'm sure he feels like it's more HIS house than yours since it's his parents house. Just realize he's a jerk and don't let it stress you out. He's not worth getting so upset over.