You are not crazy for feeling this grief...I think you got it exactly right when you said that no one understands the grief of losing a pet, until they are forced to go through it. I don't think I really understood it until I lost my cat this past weekend. I can also sympathize with your guilt and questions about what more you could have done, because my little boy wasn't even 6 years old. Maybe if we'd brought him to the vet more, she would have had more time to figure out what was wrong...It's hard to let the questions go.
I wasn't there when my cat died (he had been living with my parents for two years)--I was in Houston, on my way to see the new puppy my bf and I will be bringing home in a couple months. I felt so guilty, like I was already planning my cat's replacement. But in my heart, I know that nothing will ever replacement. This puppy will be so loved, but for who she is and not as some replacement for my cat. I have enough love for them both.
This is longer than I meant it to be, but I just wanted you to know that I read your post and saw myself in it some, and I wanted to say that you aren't alone in your grief. Rest in peace, John Wayne, and best wishes to you and your new puppy, who is lucky to have you! |