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Originally Posted by DENISE517  ok, where do i start. i think you all know the long story to this. maddie is still next door with bob and jane. they told me that she has made them live again and brought soooo much joy to there life. they did tell me in the beginning that if things change with lexi, i could have maddie back.
well lexi has been on the shots 3 times a week for almost 1 1/2 - 2 months. from time to time i take her around doggies to see what happens and always a rash. well the last two times i've taken her around maddie and dan's dad's doggy......no rash. i talked to the allergist and she said the shot are starting to work with her system.
so i'm thinking...great in time she will be fine and maybe i acted to early on the situation. but after months and month of the rash and the terrible stuff that came with it...i just wanted relief for little lexi (my skin daughter)
here is my problem. the difference maddie has made in bob and jane's life is amazing. they are elderly and she had given them new hope. they thank me each day for her. maddie has adjusted wonderful and loves them to death. as a matter of fact i told connie the last two times she was sooo happy to see me, but instead of staying with me the whole time...she went back and sat with them..(which broke my heart)
i can't take maddie away from them. i think it would totally devasted them. and if something happened to them health wise cause of it i would never forgive myself. now you all now the heart ache and pain i've had being away from maddie, but i have to put myself last here and think about someone else beside myself. i have to do the right thing and not be selfish. maddie is adjusted and she has been through so much and bob and jane. i just can't do it. i realize i have to let go....(as hard as it is)
and if things keep going well with lexi then i'll be able to have another yorkie in my life really soon. it won't be little maddie as she is next door, but i hope to find a little girl to give all my love and attention to. the kids really miss not having a baby around as to I.
maybe i acted to premature with letting maddie stay next door, maybe i didnt think it all thru. but whats done is done. she's happy and they are too.
so please pray for me and that i can heal knowing i've done some good for two elderly people. they take her for yogurt every night. she loves driving in the car as always. pray that things with little lexi will remain getting better and that the shots will continue to work and do there job and that i can find the me a little girl again.
thanks so much for everything! |
Don't blame yourself for what you did, you did what you did for a reason and it's great knowing you helped out an elderly couple in such a way. It's also great that they're next door so you can see her anytime. Maddie is a true angel and this just goes to show. Keep your head up, as time goes on you'll realize more and more everyday the great joy you've brought to this couple's life! Prayers coming your way to help you through this time and to show you that what you've done is the absolute right thing!
