I feel you pain!  I hate my bank too!  I plan on changing to a different one in the VERY near future.
Not long ago I screwed up and entered a check in my register as a deposit...I overdrew my account, but caught it very quickly when the first payment ran through.  I went into the branch and asked for my current balance so that I could make a deposit to cover the negative balance, PLUS 2 other transactions I'd made w/ my check card.  They gave me the balance, I made the deposit thinking 'problem solved.'  WRONG!  The next day, the 2 outstanding payments posted WITH 33.00 OD fees attached to them.

  I went back to the bank for an explanation...how could these have not been covered when I made a deposit BEFORE they posted?  I was then told that they had actually already run through before I made the deposit(!) OK, then WHY didn't you include them when I asked for my total yesterday!? 

 Then they told me...get this...'It's not our job to nor do we have the ability to give you an accurate balance on your account!?"  

  WTH...yes, that is your JOB as the BANK!  Idiots.