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Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom  Okay, NOW I get it - and I was wondering if there was a little more to it. And actually, I *really* get this bc my family was...not a good one. In fact - the word "family" just freaked the crap out of me for a long time. I didn't want anything to do w/ anyone's family. Met hubby (then boyfriend) and he was pretty close to his family - which felt scary for me. They are very welcoming and loving people - but it still took me awhile to realize fully, in my own skin, that they were *not* going to behave like my family. My point is, when your core family is filled w/ dysfunction - it truly can be tough to propel yourself into other families. AND, there is nothing wrong w/ sharing that w/ your bf - I certainly did w/ Tony, and he was happy to share it with me. It helps to share that kind of stuff. Also, if it's important for you to have bits of time alone w/ him during the family weekend - it's good to let him know that ahead of time too. We always planned for that too, just so I'd have some breathing room.  |
THANK YOU!!! I appreciate this advice more than anything, you can't imagine how much I appreciate this! I've been having freak out moments lately. His family LOVES ME for him! They keep talking about us moving in togehter, getting married, that Im already part of the family, that I fit right in, etc... I am flattered and feel good about that. I like them all very much. Im VERY social and outgoing and friendly also, so he had NO idea how nervous I am. My family is small and far away from each other now. They are also very judgemental and can be mean. Im so afraid to make a misstep and have his family not like me anymore.
Also lately Im freaking out inside about the thought of losing my independance. I LOVE him...he is GREAT! I am happy with him, he treats me wonderful. HE is thoughtful and just a great guy and person. However I have flashes of leaving my condo and find myself either panicking OR nitpicking his house to use as an excuse to not move for a LONG time. I guess I am just not ready to give up my complete independance yet. Im sure thats ok, but the more steps I take into his family the harder I feel it is to keep that side of me private from them and that freaks me out right now.
Anyways... Im sure it will pass with time and I've 'been there, done that' and know when to say yes and when to say no. I know that I'll only do things when Im mentally and emotionally ready. In other words I will not be pressured to do anything Im not ready for... like merge my life with his until I ready to take on the responsibility of another person also. (I hope you know what I mean by that)