Having lived in Alaska for so long I can absolutely say that these are true
I'm especially fond of the last one. I went to school in Ak my whole life and never once saw school close for any reason~
60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat. People in Alaska plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Fairbanks sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start. People in Alaska drive with the Windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes. The water in Anchorage gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Alaska throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Alaska have the Last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero:
People in Miami freeze to death. People in Alaska close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Alaska get out their winter Coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Alaska are selling cookies Door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Alaska let the dogs sleep Indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Alaskan drivers get upset because
They can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin
scale.) People in Alaska start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over. Alaska public schools will open 2 hours late.