I think it's a great idea to get your son's input on this matter. It would be good time to explain to him why people say mean things to other "because they don't feel good about themselves, and want to make others feel bad too." I do think if you allow the child over, swimming is the prefect activity since they need adult supervision at all times, and you will be able to watch how the child interacts with your children. There's no doubt he break one of your rules, he'll be testing you. Your reaction is very important, don't show any anger, and in a non-judgmental voice, tell him what you want. For example, please don't use words like that, that's not acceptable. If your angry with my son tell him why, and maybe you two can work something out." If he continues to break rules, say something like, "It looks like you are having a bad day, and don't want to follow my rules. You need to go home for today, but please come and visit us again when you are in a better mood."
You don't need to tell these kids they are "bad" they already think that about themselves. You can really make a difference in this child's life, and your son will learn some important life lessons as well. I've worked with some pretty hard-core juvenile delinquents, and it's amazing what a few kind words will do. |