I had a very hard time getting Babybear to eat after he got home from having his AAI surgery also.. The vet ended up giving me syringes to feed him with.. He also would not drink.. He graduated to a baby spoon.. And needless to say he will not eat out of a bowl now..LOL But that is okay with me.. You might want to try to mash up some wet food for her and try her with that.. I also put a little water in with Babybear's wet food.. I think sometimes they are so sore in the neck that they want to eat only wet food..
I will say many prayers for your husband.. I am so sorry you are going through so much right now..
Don't forget if you need anything do not hesitate to ask.. I am here for you..
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Val and Babybear
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