I can relate to what you are saying a lot. In our case his parents didn't approve of us RENTING and never stopped bugging us to buy a house (that we couldn't afford!)
We bought a townhouse at the top of the market, right before we got married, because we thought prices would keep going up. They didn't. Now we are stuck with it. There will ALWAYS be more houses. Don't buy it unless you are in love with it and truly can afford the mortgage, taxes, insurance, and anything that might come up. You'll always get pre-approved for more than you can afford because the banks know you will pay your mortgage first. Stick to 1/4-1/3 of your monthly income, taking into account other payments you might have. When we went from our 2 bedroom apt to our 2 bedroom TH our utility bills doubled... then we needed more furniture... we still had student loans, a car loan, medical loans... we could NOT afford this. Pay off all of your debt and set yourselves up financially so you don't have to fight about money.
Also, I think I sense a little bit of "we can't afford to get married" You CAN afford to get married, and if you are thinking about buying a house together he should be worthy enough to marry. What you can't afford is a big fancy wedding. We got engaged (Charged the ring - paid for it forever - so I never really got to enjoy it actually. I would have rather had a cheaper ring and no CC bill!) Anyway we didn't get to planning a wedding right away because we "couldn't afford it" Don't get caught up in it. We ended up having a modest wedding but we still let our parents invite all of these people we had never met and will never see again. I wanted probably 30-40 of them to be there and those people would not have cared if I got married in a off-the-rack dress, in a field, carrying daisies. Seriously. My best advice to you is that in 2 years, in 5 years, in 10 years the *wedding* you had will not matter but the marriage will.
I know someone who got married and almost immediately divorced because she and her mother cared more about the wedding than her marriage and apparently who she was marrying. $30,000 down the drain. I think they spent $4000 on pictures they are never going to look at again. She was a complete bridezilla and openly criticized me for having a less lavish wedding. Yeah well, I still have a husband! It's all about your attitude!!! |