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Originally Posted by slk77  Its been 8 days since this terrible tragic incident happened and I want to thank everyone for responding to my cries with so much compassion and kindness. This has been the 8 longest days of my life and I don't think I have cried this much ever. I am very fortunate that a great friend post this incident on this site (I never knew it existed before), and so many people shown so much concerns who never even know me. I am forever grateful. So I want to thank you again from my very broken heart and if Dior can see this, he would be very comforted that so many people shared the pain with his mommy. Some one told me to write .... so I wrote and wanted to share.......
I wanted to share this story because it may help me to heal and also remind that the love of your life may not be around tomorrow. As I write this story the sorrow and heartache I feel is overwhelming. But I know if I don’t put these experiences in words I wouldn’t be able to go very far. As much as I like to pretend this regret didn’t happen but reality has its way to remind me that it’s not the case.
8 days ago, I was living a life that most people dream of. My family healthy, everyone I loved deeply safe and sound. The only issue I had was the difficulties at work. It consumed me a lot with all the issues and made me very unhappy. So unhappy I forgot to cherish the very beings around me. I traveled frequently for my job and haven’t been able to spend as much time as I would like with the love of my life. His name is Dior. He was a Yorkie with such a gentle spirit. I know all owners would say their dog is the best dog ever but Dior was a dream come true. He was my companion, my best friend, my baby, and most of all the love of my life. I always felt that I was so lucky to have a companion like him. He was there in my high and he was there for my low. He was there when I was happy and he was there when I cried. I don’t know if he understood how much he meant to me and how much I lean on him for comfort. He was the best listener anyone could ever ask for. He was so gentle and loving to those around him. There was no one who saw Dior didn’t love him. We traveled everywhere together, I often put him in his favorite doggie bag and we would roam around the streets of NY! We did the breast cancer walk together with friends and he never ever make any noise ( never barked) when we were out. I would sneak him in many places with me and no one ever noticed because he was always so quiet and gentle.
Then, it came without warning or preparation…. I still recalled that Saturday 4/26, I woke up from an afternoon nap. I haven’t walked Dior in 2 days and I felt bad. His birthday was on 4/23 which he turned 3. I wanted to take him out for an extra long walk to make him happy. We went through our normal route to the park where him and I sat on the bench and watch the water by the FDR. I loved those times I spent with my love. He sat on my lap and quietly just keeping me company. We then proceeded on buying him treats and food to properly celebrate his birthday. We were 2 minutes away from my apt when this pit bull came into sight…. We never made it home together. He was ripped out of my life so quickly and so cruel….. My heart is completely torn to pieces at the moment and I am not sure if it’ll ever recover. I keep wondering and blaming myself….. why didn’t I just take another street? Why did I just cross the street, why didn’t I just pick him up and put him in the bag? I don’t know when I will stop asking myself these questions and I don’t know when the pain will subside….. I just know I would give anything to have him back again. |
Again, I am so sorry about Dior. When my Gizmo was attacked a killed, I too questioned my actions and had a list of "why did i just..." questions. But all that does is make this time even more difficult. You did absolutely nothing wrong and none of this was your fault. And I know what you mean by closing your eyes and seeing it happen all over again... it's the worst thing in the world and I feel your pain. Anytime that happens, just try to recall a moment when Dior was happy, remember the good times. He loved you more than anything and would rather you remember all the happy times you had than to replay the tragedy in your head. I know there is nothing any of us can say or do to make you feel better. Feel free to send me a pm if you need to talk. I send you my prayers and many hugs. Hang in there, girl.