My Dad passed away in December and I was very close to him. I made sure that I was there almost every minute in the hospital. You see my Mom passed away 4 years ago and I learned so much from that. I regret not being there when she wanted company at chemo. I stayed sometimes but sometimes I'd drop her off and then pick her up. I regretted not being with her all the time she was feeling ill. We learn from our mistakes. You had no way of knowing how you would feel when he was gone....I didn't. Don't be hard on yourself. Just sharing this is helpful for yourself and others. One Sweet Day by Mariah reminds me of my Mom and I lose it also.