I am so sorry you are hurting. I am sending you these links simply because I do not know when you will do this. I, Unfortunately had to make this decision 3 times and all 3 times I was not prepared. I wish I would have found these sites when I needed them. If only someone could have prepared me... Each person deals with things differently so for me when I needed the advice that no one could give me. I was scared and very hurt and I really didn't want to make the decision nor did I know what to even think as each day went by.
This is something you have to do when you feel you are ready. You will know by looking in the eyes of your pup who loves you so much.
I will share with you a little of my Mom's story just last year...
Mom had to put her (our Mindy) to sleep last November. Mindy had stopped eating for 10 days (I hate to even say that) I live out of state so I only knew what Mom was telling me. This was my dog when I was 15... I brought her home one day and BEGGED Mom to let us keep her. As I got older I worked 3 jobs and I wanted to move out on my own. About 7 yrs later I bought my own home. I decided to leave Mindy with my Mom. It made sense... Mom was always home with her. I still saw Mindy all the time. but her and Mom were sure attached.
I moved out of state 5 yrs ago and Mindy now was approaching 19 yrs old. I knew Mom should have put Mindy down and that she waited entirely too long. But- Mom knew when it was right. Mom was in denial saying she wasn't eating and her stomach didn't feel good and that she would come around. Well 11 days later... Mindy still isn't eating. I said Mom I think it's time... and she yelled at me. She said- you don't see the way she looks in my eyes. Those big brown eyes of hers!!
I was just angry in a way and so worried that my Mindy was suffering and it was really hard because I couldn't see her.
On the 11th day w/o eating Mindy started showing signs of being in incruiating pain when she would have a bowel movement. Mom would clean her and try to keep her comfortable. Mindy would sleep a lot and at times she was hard to wake up.
Mom would tell me that she just wanted to find Mindy the next morning or come home to her one day so that she wouldn't have to make the dreadful decision. However, Mindy progressed and was showing quite a bit of discomfort. The Vet told her that Mindy may NOT pass away a peaceful death and that my Mom may not want to witness this and that it would make things worse.
After that phone conversation my Mom had with the Vet- each day Mindy grew worse. It was right then and there that Mom said she just had to do it. Mindy gave her the look in her eyes that she didn't want to fight this no more. Mom loved Mindy so much she did this for her. Mom still misses Mindy and I do to. I hated not being able to see her again, although I was home last June for my Grandma's funeral and I just knew that that would be my last time to see Mindy alive. It is going to feel really weird when I go home in a few months and Mindy is not there. :-( Mom said that she never would have imagined losing her Mother and Mindy all in 6 mos.
Mom did send me pics she had taken a few days before she put Mindy to rest. She looked very tired.
When my Mom made that dreadful decision she was alone and all my herself. That makes me hurt even more for her. My Sister was working and my Mom woke up one morning and she said that she knew Mindy was now suffering a lot and that she needed to do this. I wish I could have been there for Mom, there to hold her together.
Mindy would look at her with those big brown eyes and Mom said that she just couldn't do it. But one morning Mindy totally was telling her that she didn't want to fight anymore. Mom looked deep into her eyes and Mindy was telling her that she loved her and that it was time to let her go to heaven. Mom strongly feels that she made the right decision for Mindy to end her suffering. However she still misses her immensely.
Stay strong and you will be ok. I am sorry once again that you are hurting and having to go through this right now. It is never an easy thing to do. You will grieve and that is perfectly normal. I will promise you this, You will remember all the specials times your pup gave you and you will hold these memories very close in your heart forever. You will celebrate the life of your pup the same way you remember a loved one that has passed.
I hope you are not upset with me for sending the links. I am just trying to help you. I know the pain you are feeling and when you don't know the answers... it helps if someone guides you. So that is my only reason for sending them. You will make this decision when you feel you know in your heart it's time. Until then love him, and hug him and keep whispering to him that you love him so very much.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Pet Loss Support Page: Euthanasia - The Most Painful Decision Euthansia...how will I know when it's time?