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Originally Posted by broodizt  Hello all,
This forum is the only place I could think to go after talking to my vet and crying and crying my eyes out for three days straight. I have not slept in days and all I can do is hold my little Merlin and cry. Merlin is my soon to be (in October) 17 years old yorkie, the love of my life. I've had him since 6 weeks old and we were inseperable. Now my parents live with me and they adore him as well. He went completely blind last year and seemed to go downhill fast after that. He has lost tons of weight and just eats bits of his food only after we beg him to eat. He is down to about two pounds and he used to weigh about 3 to 31/2 lbs. He drinks tons of water and unrinates tons and tons. He has been incontinent since he lost his sight. He mouth smells very foul but the vet will not clean his teeth by putting him under because she did a few tests and his numbers from the urine test was astronomical (indication of kidney function). She says normal is about 2 to 21/2 and his number is 30!!!!! And he gets too stressed out to have them cleaned manually. He has a collapsed trachea and if he gets too stressed this sets him off.
He is skin and bones now. All he does is sleep. He does not seem to be in pain but he appears very frail and weak. I am dying inside. Is there no hope? Is there anything on this earth I can do to help him? I just cannot seem to let him go. I am crying as I write this. I cry all the time. I do have another little one. Her name is Cassie. She is beautiful and very tiny (only two pounds full grown, but healthy except for reverse sneezing or allergies). But I spend most of my time with Merlin. He is the most special wonderful companion in the universe. I am so stuck. I do not know what to do. When is the right time to put him to sleep? Is it right to do this now? I am afraid I do not have the strenghth to let him go. Please Please, somebody help me. Shellie  |
Shelly. I'm really sorry and I do know what you are going through. Many of us here have been in your situation. I lost my 10 year old Newman to cancer over the summer. This July will be a year. He was my first Yorkie. Like you I felt like I was dying inside. I second guessed for a long time whether there was more I could have done. Yet in my heart I know that the kindest thing I did was hold him and let him go peacefully. He was a good boy, my best friend and was there for me through my Leukemia. It was hard but I did what I had to do, what I knew was the right thing and that was to repay him for all he'd done by being his friend and letting him go without pain. I hope God gives you the strength and I hope you find healing. If you ever need to talk pls. feel free to PM me. Like I said so many of us have been through this. Elaine