oh, honey I am so sorry. I have been there before. You need to calm yourself and get to a place where you can think peacefully. You are in the stages of grief - to be exact denial. You will come to a place where you know when it is time.
The time when you know you are doing what is best for Merlin. Only you can decide this. It won't be easy but you will come to a place that you know what to do |