I need to vent guys and get some opinions so please just bare with me.
Ok, since my grandmother passed away a few weeks ago my mom, who is the oldest of 5 daughters, has been going crazy. She has had to get my grandparent's bill in order, deal with my grandfather's meds and doctors and money. Their finances were such a mess because my grandmother was the one to deal with all of the bills since my grandfather doesn't read well and doesn't write. Well the last few weeks before my grandmother passed she was recovering from knee surgery and never told anyone that their financial state was as bad as it was. Anyway, mom is an art teacher, doesn't make a whole lot of money, but because the life insurance paperwork was being redone it did not pay for the funeral which left my mom to pay for it.
Here's where I start to get angry, out of 5 daughters she is the only one helping like a daughter should. Not one of the others is doing anything to help my grandfather or to help my mom. The youngest daughter lives not even 5 mins away and the only time she goes over there is to make dinner for her, her fiance, his kids and my grandfather using his food. He can't afford that. My grandfather gets bored
which I can understand all day by yourself, so he shops by phone. He spent 300 on 2 mops! He told my mom he bought one for Jaymie(the youngest) because "she's so good to me". Good grief she needs to be around him, that's her dad! But when my mom told her to send the mop back because he couldn't afford it she said "no, it's a gift". She is planning her wedding for August, she has been telling everyone she has no money and wanting my granfather to pay for it! The man has 500 to last him all month, that's it!
The other daughter, second youngest, lives in NC. Ok too far to help take care of him hands on but, I road with her up to NJ when my grandmother passed and all I kept hearing was how much money they have and have no bills, blah blah blah, so why is my mom paying for everything on a teacher's salery! So you think they have put a dime into helping? NO! When we were up there for the funeral she helped clean his place and some laundry, well my grandmother loved to shop to (why their finances were such a mess) she has 4 closets full of clothes and shoes. My aunt was supposed to take some of the stuff to a consighnment shop so my grandad could get some extra money. NO, she gives them away! My grandmother had to have the BEST, so about 20 pairs of shoes, that according to my mom were high dollar names and almost 200 each pair, were just given away!
The other two I can't fault too much because they are in their own financial distress and don't live close by.
My biggest problem though is that when one the daughters calls my mom to find out how he's doing the NEVER ask how she's holding up! She still has not greived for her own mother because of the mountains of things she is left to take care of on her own. She is so stressed out! My way of thinking is that there are 5 daughters, your parents take care of you most of your life but when they need you, as their child you step up and take care of them any way you can! They've just left it up to my mom.
I told my mom that I was going to become the biggest niece b*tch they've ever known because I was about to throw one helacious fit. I can't stand hearing my mom so worn out and down on the phone. I live 16 hours away but have been helping my mom with finding insurance and finding better prices for his meds and getting him his dog. I can't afford to really do anything but this is my grandad, my family I will do everything I can, so why can't his own daughters do that?!
Anyway, I'm winding down now but I'm ready to send a letter or email to the other daughters about the stress that my mom is left to deal with all on her own. What would you do in my situation?