[Txgurl06]

hey everyone thanks for all the prayers and thoughts they do help! more than you know!

Its still really hard and I know i still have to get up everyday and go to work but all i think about is him. I keep having moments where i think im okay and god needed him and then i have bad moments where i just cry.

like skoshi wouldnt let kiele play with the toys lol everything she had he wanted and he would take it. He wasnt mean to her just didnt share lol. we always hide to hide his toys too because he wouldnt go to sleep at night he wanted to play all night. I came home from work the other day and seen skoshis toys out and kiele playing with them and i had to step back because his toys made me think about him so much but then i had to realize kiele needs them now and i need to be strong for her.

Or i gave kiele a bath this weekend and i said i need to get more shampoo for them.I had to catch myself. Its so hard.

I do keep wishing i will wake up and it will be that morning again so i can change everything. i know im gonna have guilt just because i struggled with my decision so much in the first place.

or why out of all the dogs and cats that get spayed and neutered why did skoshi have to be one of the ones that die. I know its selfish but we would all think that at this time.

I know i had no way of knowing anything but i never trust anyone with my babies. they werent just my dogs they were my babies. I just never thought i would get him neutered and then i finally got the courage and this happened. Just knowing i couldnt be there to help him or dont know what he was thinking. I dont want to change anyones mind about getting your babies spayed or neutered because that is your personal decision and they all have their pros and cons. Just do lots of research and be sure about ur decision.