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Originally Posted by cariblonde  sorry guys I havnt been on in a few days, My friends threw a party for me sat for my birthday, which is Tomorrow BTW,  I did get some lunesta to help me sleep and that helps... thanks for being so concerned and for being so kind it does help...I feel like Im on a rollercoaster one minute I'm optimistic and feel like i am making the right decision and other times I just feel like a part of me died and I'm never going to get over this just the thought of him being in love and marrying someone else kills me, and I know i should wish him all the happiness and love in the world but I dont want him to ever love anyone else  I know that is so selfish and i dont want to feel this way oh gosh when am I going to stop feeling this way |
OH geezzz sweetie! You should NOT feel the need to wish him the best and move on right now. Im almost 3 years out of a 10 year relationship and I still HOPE hes MISERABLE with his life!
I guess I do not forgive that easily. He hurt you, broke your trust, betrayed you and lied to you. You are ALLOWED to be angry at him towards him.... whatever it takes to get through this rough time. And believe me the anger will not last forever I promise, but in the meantime if you gather that anger and put it towards something positive then you can use that anger in a good productive way. You WILL get through this... Look how far YOU alone have come! Graduating school and college and becoming a paralegal and buying a mercedes! Girl, thats ALL you!! You are a strong, educated, compassionate woman and mother! Hang onto that thought as you go through this. You will be tested and tried again and again, but as long as you believe in yourself you will get through anything life throws at you! (((HUGS))) to you!!!
Here is a poem I LOVE and read and re-read over and over again! I hope you like it!
After A While
by Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...