I am so sorry. It IS such a shock. I just went through this in January and I was the one who found our little boy. I still can't get that image out of my mind. I don't know what to tell you about seeing him to say good bye. Everyone is different. Although it's been hard for me, I'm glad I was there.
I know Tootsie is at the Rainbow Bridge now, running and playing.
Here's a poem that I read the night Peanut passed.
I'll lend you for a little time, a dog of mine God said.
For you to love while she lives and mourn when she is dead.
The years they may be six or ten or even as few as three.
But will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?
She'll bring her charms to gladden you, and shall her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from Earch return.
But there are lesseons taught down there I want this dog to learn.
I've looked the wide world over, in my search for masters true,
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have chosen you.
Now will you give her your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call to take her back again?
We answer in sincereity, Dear Lord, They will be done.
For all the joy this dog shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness and love her while we may,
And for the happiness we will know, we'll ever grateful stay.
But shall the angels call for her much sooner than we planned,
We'l know the bitter grief that comes and try to understand. 