LOL. I'm sorry, but everything you were saying really cracked me up.
I hope the situation improves for you, though.
I totally understand the small town thing. Though for me it wasnt too bad most of the time. My old town was about 7000 people within 1 sq. mile (probably less people because everyone was moving away), which may not seem too small, but when your parents have lived there for 16 years its like random people come up to you and go "Wow, Megan, you've gotten so tall." lol. So my brother and I couldn't do or get away with ANYTHING because someone would be calling my parents telling them. When my dad fell down the stairs and broke his leg, a bunch of random people brought over dinner for us.
and we've also had the downside to small towns. My mom used to be the board of ed. president, and after some events, the whole town ended up hating her with the exception of like 3 people (and then shortly after, they realized that she was right and came crawling back.
)