Here's a joke:
The military decided to change the way retirees pay is figured.
The first eligible retiree comes in and is told that his pay will be decided by a body measurement. He could choose what part of his body to be measured.
He chose to be measured from his shoulder to the tip of his middle finger. He left with a whopping $50,000!
The next person chose to be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He left with a $125,000 payout.
The last gentleman comes in and is told how the pay would be figured. When he's asked what body part he wants measured, he says "Measure me from the tip of my w**nie to my tes**cles, and I want a doctor to do the measuring."
A veteran doctor is brought in and tells the man to drop 'em. He begins the measurements and exclaims - "Man, where are your tes**cles???"
The about to be wealthy soldier looks at the Dr and says "VIETNAM, start measuring"
