[IluvLucy]

Hey, my friend! When Mark died the hardest thing for me was going thru his papers. We always had sort of an unspoken agreement. I didn't open his mail or bank statements and he didn't open mine.

I felt SO sneaky when it came time to go thru his papers!! I went thru his clothes and donated about 15 trash bags FULL. My oldest son got a lot of his sweaters and his leather jacket. He had 4 watches, and all kinds of knives and guns. I donated furniture that I knew I wouldn't use, sets of dishes, cookware, you name it.

Anyway, in one of his drawers, he had EVERY card I had ever given him along with all of the ones from my sons to him. This goes back to when we first started dating. ( I have all the ones from him, too) That was the hardest thing for me. I sat there and laughed and cried for days trying to go thru all the paperwork. He had the receipt from when he bought my engagement ring and wedding band, receipts for EVERY piece of jewelry he ever bought me.

Selling the house and moving was hard, because he designed the house to suit him before we ever met. (It was definitely a man's house - all rock, wood, and glass) But all the paperwork nearly destroyed me.

Hang in there, Villette - you're a strong woman and growing even stronger with every day you face on your own.