Been up a few hours with Amy, she can't sleep and didn't want her to be alone..and of course Gizmo is right there on top of her. As my kids were growing up when something would happen to one of them I would gain the strength of Super Woman ready to whoop whomever hurt them. This time I feel helpless and weak and it pisses me off. Forgive my rantings of no sleep.
Amy has been with a psychiatrist since she was 16, well had been. I keep all of the narcotic for my kids with me at work, I leave what they need for the day. Amy kept all this inside and could tell nobody for weeks. She was missing her meds (which is so not like her because it causes severe problems.) and acting out. She needed her Xanax and of course it was with me and still didn't know, so she wouldn't call work and ask me to bring some. She didn't even remember we had just gotten them filled, all she knew was she was in a bad way and needed her meds. In desperation she called the pharmacy to have them filled again, so they call the dr and informed him.
After the futile attempt at obtaining her meds she finally called disparately for an appt, she needed her shrink and afraid to tell anyone else. The nurse informed her she was no longer a patient. Amy called me at work upset and told me they refused to see her (still having no idea) so I fly in to "Mama Mode" go home and pick her up a head for their office. The woman informed me that she had been dropped as a patient for trying to get her Xanax when it had just been filled and shut the window in our face. Amy stood there with her mouth open and tears streaming not knowing what she had done. On the way home she finally broke down in the car and had to tell me what had happened to her. I physically became ill.
I called the police, that's when they came to the house and took the report. After talking to Amy (while I'm cluching my chest) is when they told her it would be her word agaist his and she didn't come across as being "up for it" because of all pressing charges would entail, she said she could handle it.
So that's where we are, She's still on her meds (which after all these years were doing more harm than good. Who's to know which was clashing with the other) and no shrink. Everyone her primary has contacted says they do not accept patients on xanax. Well she been out of them for a month after being on psychiatric doses for 8 years. All we can do is wait for a bed at the center. Sorry I'm rambling, i relive this every night wracking my brain for another course of action.
Your prayers mean so much. I'm tired now. The sun is coming up here, it's a new day. |