Hi Everyone,
After crying most of the night and dreaming about what I should do, I have made a decision today with my head and not my heart.
Another ailment that I forgot to mention in my previous email was that Annie's blood count numbers in relation to her liver are extremely high. If my memory serves me correctly (yesterday is a bit of a blur now) her liver readings should have been between the numbers 50 and 100. Annie's number was 2,000 (whatever that means.)
Yesterday I wanted to the be the super hero and do everything to save her, but today I am realizing how selfish that is. I started to imagine how painful it would be for myself to have two large tumours taken from my body, all my teeth extracted, losing a breast to breast cancer and having numerous cysts removed from my body in one surgery. I cannot put this little girl through more than she has already been through.
Today I realize that Annie came to me for a reason. It was to bring back the love of dogs that I once had as a child. Age, routine, stress and single motherhood made me believe that it was not practical to own a dog. Seeing Annie re-sparked my childhood feelings of love and adoration for dogs. She came along to help me remember this and commit the rest of my life to helping other "wounded souls." She is an angel who was given to me for a short period of time to help me remember how important it is to have a four legged creature in my family to love and be loved.
I am making that dreaded call to her veterinarian to schedule an appointment that will put her out of her excruciating pain. This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my entire life. I will then put my name on the list as a potential permanent home to another Yorkie who needs a forever home.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Even though I don't know you, I appreciate it more than words can describe.
Warm Regards,
Jamie |