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Originally Posted by kalina82  I'm so so so sorry you are going thru this with sammie. You are going thru so much with your two babies. its heartbreaking. Tomorrow i'll ask the surgeon what he thinks about ct surgery. I don't know if i've seen him do one but it might be similar to other tracheal surgeries we've done. I don't know much else about ct to be of any help, so all i can really offer you are prayers.  |
I have worried about both of them. And I find myself asking God... "what could i have ever done to deserve this"? I have never done anything but good to anyone that knows me. And they will tell you things like "I have a heart of gold" -I have been that way my whole life. Just very caring about my family and friends and complete strangers for that matter. Always trying to give good advice when someone is down and lonely and hurting. WHy can't i take my own advice??? why am i not able to console myself through all of what's happened this past year. This has affected me in so many ways that I am ashamed to admit. But why? why do i feel this way. Why? because I am afraid to admit the love I feel for my girls. DOGS! That has got to be it. too many people (even though they know how I am when it comes to my girls...) just too many telling me that these are DOGS RENEE! DOGS! I don't have kids @ 38 and I have my own medical issues so who knows if I will ever be able to have kids. I am not getting any younger. these "dog's" ARE my CHILDREN! and I love them so so so much! I am the best mommy to these girls and they mean the world to me. Why can't i understand that they are "pets" and they are not meant to outlive us? I mean, what could their lives had been like if they were not fortunate to have us to take care of them the way that we are?
Today I got home from the vet with Samie and I just fell to the kitchen floor. My head in my knees balling my eyes out. They are both right in my face... licking the tears off my cheaks and lips. I looked at both of them and they have the cutest little baby doll faces. Both of them just looking at me like Mama whats wrong??? were here for you- we love you.
God it just tears me up. I guess this is normal based on what ya'll have said about your own personal experiences. I am so lucky to have all of you!