[sadiesamie]

We have known of Samie’s collapsing trachea for quite some time. The past 2 yrs have made me very worried. Certain things effect Samie’s trachea. Excitement, walks, vet visits, irritants, yeast infection, ear infection, any type of pain or discomfort will trigger her trachea. Samie has been okay and nothing major until this morning. Let me first start by saying Samie had two bad coughing episodes during the past two weeks. We have hydromet to give her to keep her airways less irritated. Also Flovent. We started the Flovent back in July and had been giving it to her every day but she was panting so bad in her sleep that we decided to cut back on it (Flovent) She had been doing okay and I was giving it to her every now and then only when I felt she needed it. The way she panted in her sleep really worried me. I was told it was probably the flovent. So I cut back on it. Well after her first ct episode 2 wks ago I gave her the Hydromet and it seemed to help. Things have been fine these past 2 wks.
Last night -about 6 pm. She started the loud deep coughing again. (which I have noticed this cough progressing when it happens-her cough has got louder, deeper, almost like she has something stuck in her throat. Yesterday, in a period of 30 min she had coughed about 20 times. I had already given her ¼ cc of hydromet after the first cough. It only eased things up a bit. I don’t like to give this to her so I always start with the smallest dose which was ¼ cc (hydromet) after little improvement and her still coughing really bad. I gave her another ¼ cc. (this was her worse coughing episode to date) The coughing stopped completely all night

This morning however things took a turn for the worse. I could hear both dogs eating their food while I was in the bedroom getting ready for work. I heard Samie growl at my other dog (I am assuming because Sadie was trying to get at her food) when I went in to the kitchen to see what was going on I found Samie lying on her back under the kitchen table. I immediately picked her up and my first instinct was that Sadie (my other yorkie) maybe hurt her somehow fighting over the food. (my girls never fight-they play- never get aggressive with each other) Samie was very limp when I picked her up. I realized right then and there that I was losing her. I could see her breathing become very shallow for maybe 2 breaths and then all of the sudden she just stopped breathing. No breathing at all. I was standing in my kitchen stark naked holding her. Her little limp body just pressed against my arms. I am thinking she died right in my arms. After about 40 seconds - all of the sudden she urinates. It ran all down my right side, I could feel it travel down to my foot –again now- I just know that she DID- just pass away. I hear when you pass away you loose all bodily functions. And I just knew that this was what had just happened. All of the sudden she was moving. She was breathing but very very shallow. Clinching her front paws straight out and shaking them. I think to myself oh god she is now having a seizure. I put her on my bed and grabbed my robe at the same time trying to call my husband on his cell phone. I was getting ready to rush out to the house with her to the emergency vet. I was screaming to my husband on his cell phone to turn around and come back home- just crying my eyes out.
I am crying so hard right now just thinking about everything this morning and trying to write all of this. I literally cannot even see the monitor- it’s all blurry. I am such a wreck. I am so very worried about her and I do not know what is going to happen?

Ok- so now that you know all of that- I will proceed with the vet appt this morning. We THOUGHT she just had a seizure and vet wanted to do some blood work. THEN when I explained to the vet about finding samie laying on her back and how she went unconscious in my arms. The vet seems to think that samie had a ct episode so bad that she literally blacked out. Something as simple as getting worked up over her food with my other dog she says easily could have made her collapse. So we decide to do x-rays and check the trachea. Her last x-ray was taken of her trachea in July. WELL- when the vet held up the x-rays I was almost lost it right there in the room with her. (I have been researching collapsing trachea so I know exactly where I am looking on these x-rays) She said that Samie’s collapsing trachea has progressed and it much worse than it was in July. We compared July’s xrays with today’s xrays and I just stood there and looked and froze. The only way for me to describe it is to tell you that her airway passage was about ½ of an inch wide in July and today her airway passage on the x-ray was as if it was a fine line with no space what so ever. Maybe 2 centimeters wide. I was so alarmed to see the significant change in her trachea.
So now the vet is going to do some research she says to see if things have improved with ct surgery. She says when she was in vet school there was little success rate with this type of surgery. She is also going to check to see if maybe any other med’s would help her. She did say that because of where the collapse is located (in her chest region) it did not look good.

So we leave the vet- I get her into the car and I guess everything just caught up with me. I totally just start crying my eyes out the whole way home. Samie was doing okay. She was licking my face and my tears. Just looking at me as if she is trying to say – what’s wrong mommy? I just lost it. Just like I keep doing all morning long. I called in sick today just so I could stay home with her all day. I was on vacation all last week and yesterday. Today was supposed to be my first day back to work. Work would not understand me needing to be home with my little girl so I had to lie and say I was sick. Hey- whatever I got to do.

I just cannot believe how small her airway passage was today when the vet held up the xrays??? it was almost completely closed. I questioned how well Samie was doing while we were at out appt today b/c normally Samie does not do well there. And with her trachea being closed off so much I didn’t understand how she wasn’t panting like crazy and collapsing while we were there. I mean usually we have to be in and out of the vet b/c she gets too excited and the only thing we can do is get her back home to her usual surroundings and be super quick at the vet.
The vet says that somehow they comphensate their breathing. Because even the Vet said she had no idea how Samie was doing so well after seeing the xrays. Samie did not cough or anything while we were at the vet today. (she normally would get so excited her trachea would start to collapse a little and she has turned blue at the vet) today- yes she was excited.. but she did very well.

I also can’t believe that we ALMOST did not do the xrays when the vet was talking to me about blood work to determine seizure??? And then she wanted to know if I wanted to see if anything changed with her trachea by doing the xrays. I mean- we already knew of the trachea, know it has progressed by the sounds of her cough. What would we do different? So - I decided to have her do the x-rays. I also had a bad feeling. My husband and I have talked about this ct problem and we both had agreed that we did not want to put Samie through this surgery. It also financially would be so out of reach for us. I have read on line that surgery can be anywhere from $8,500.00 or more. Just because of where she is collapsing in her chest region. She is not collapsing in her throat area.

Now- I would do whatever I could do to save her life. I am just so worried because the vet also said that surgery could or also COULD NOT even be successful. I have so much going through my mind….and the scary part is I just know that we just cannot afford this. How are we going to find a way??? is all I keep thinking. Finding a way is one thing- finding out that surgery may not even work is another. My head is so foggy. I cannot even think straight at the moment.
To make things worse- we get home from the vet and apparently all the excitement at the vet triggered another attack. Within 30 min after being home she started coughing and without hesitation- I gave her the hydromet. She is sleeping next to me now soundly. But -now when she coughs -I literally freeze and get so scared.

She has not coughed since I gave her the hydromet. But I can tell she is sounding very congested. Just scary b/c all of this is going on while she is sleeping. She is as calm as can be and her trachea is not good while she is asleep. I will not have anything to post until we hear from the vet. I’m sorry this is so long. I am going to go snuggle with both of my girls and love on them. I do not know how many more times I will have to do this with my little Samie. I am so worried, so scared… I don’t even know anymore. My other dog Sadie has her protein loss problems. We got good news with her bp dropping back to normal just yesterday. We are falling so behind in debt. 5800.00 this year so far with all of the test and labs and meds we have had with both girls. I am at a loss for words. the holidays are here and we just cannot get away from vet bills. I am so worried b/c I am not ready… nor will I ever be ready to say good by to my little girls. Just so much going on with them both I am just beside myself. I know this is hard to read and I apolygize. I am not well at the moment. I can’t read through it again before posting it all. I am sorry if I sound like I am over the place. It’s probably because at the moment I am. I cannot stop crying. I am making myself sick.