thank you!!
I am trying to be understanding to the situation, but I feel the same way you do. thankfully, i have not told her that her dad would or would not be there. had i told her he would be, and he didn't show, then i would have to rip his head off and shove it up his butt. I am not going to tell Trinity why he is not there. I will just tell her that he cannot make it. I wish I didn't have to tell her anything, I would love nothing more than for her to be surprised by him being there.
I am so sad by this whole thing. I am trying to be understanding. I am trying to not be disappointed...but i remember the day I found out they were dating...(keep in mind..she used to be a mutual friend who would babysit for us so we could have "dates"). I remember telling him that if he EVER puts her first, it would wage a war between us. I remember him promising me that would never happen. so as understanding as I am trying to be...I can't help but remember that conversation.
here's my situation...me and my husband work with this big investor. our jobs...our income...it depends soley on making this investor happy. well, he is coming into town that same weekend. guess what...he is going to have to sit in his hotel and just wait for this to be over...or he can join us...but i am NOT putting him before my daughter. period. yes, it is a different situation, but in some ways it is the same. I can put off my investor and make him sit and wait for us to be finished with what we need to do with our family....but he cannot tell his wife that he is putting Trinity first and going to be there for her. Heck, my husband doesn't have to be there for trinity, but he is. period. he wouldnt miss it for anything.
like i said many times before, i am trying to be understanding, but all in all, i am disappointed. very disappointed in him.
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Originally Posted by jp4m2  I think your first reaction was correct...
I know this is not the popular opinion, but I'm gong out on a limb here and I'm going to say it anyway because it involves a child...
I think over all your ex is probably a pretty good dad, but in saying that, he may be losing sight on what is important....Trinity did not ask for this situation nor did she get a vote in it.... I believe when she has something that is important to her he needs to move heaven and earth to be there for her.....to some of us an adults graduation would rank higher than a little girls gym competition, but I would wager a bet this is just as important to Trinity, and that's what matters....I'm sure the flowers are going to be nice, but a poor substitution for the real thing, her dad....if you ask her I would bet she would prefer looking out in that audience and seeing both her parents smiling faces.....
I think your ex should have reversed the situation, he should have come to Trinity's event first then went to the new wifes second. The new wife went in to this knowing the situation, she should have been the one to back him up by saying, "Go ahead hun, I understand completely, your little girl needs you."....Trinity should not have to compete with her for her dads time or attention. Even if this new wife thinks she is now the big kahuna, your ex's first priorities, obligations, commitments, and devotion, should go to Trinity....I don't believe it's fair or right to expect a little girl to have to understand, except, or process these kinds of disappointments when it's avoidable. The adults should have to make the all the sacrifices not her....
Sorry if this is off base but I get a little riled when kids are in the mix...just trying to give some other perspective  .....IMO....
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