Well it's annoying but maybe you're missing what it's all about. It's about you and your friends getting together and enjoying each others company. It doesn't matter how you get there, just so long as you're there. While it's annoying for her to complain, just ask her if she wants to help you plan it. Say if you think a houseparty is better do you want me to help you plan it, if not, then the restaurant it is. Just use some tact, but try not to get yourself worked up. It's supposed to be fun
I'm always the one who plans everything for all my friends, cause htey are all too lazy, so when I get annoyed I try to remember how much fun we have at the end of the day.