Hi Kristi, you do sound so miserable and desperate at the moment. My heart goes out to you.
We often wonder why these things come into our lives, but I do know there's a reason, and we usually come out stronger on the otherside. I nursed my terminally ill mom for ten years and when she passed I was an emotional wreck.
I had been on 'happy pills" for a few years before she passed to help me get through the stress and heartache, and they helped. I am still on them, but let me tell you , I now am so empathetic with other who need them, I also am able to help friends going through stress, and I just love old people, probably because I don't have any. I was diagnosed with breast cancer three months after my mom passed, probably due to all the years of stress, and although I had about a year of hell, I am now a better person for it. I love everyday of my life, I love the heat, the cold, rain, wind,- everything!
I appreciate my hubby, son and furbabies sooo much, I thank God everyday for them, even when they make me mad! My friends always want to know why I have them round so often, well it's because I love them so and want to share a meal and make them laugh and enjoy their company. They often think it's too much trouble to have people around so are pleased I do it so they can all see each other! lol.
Gee I'm rambling, my point --oh I don't know just to give you hope... it's hard, but you will get through it, and come out a better person. It will make you stronger and more able to cope with problems later on...
Maybe see a doctor and get some happy pills, maybe just for a while to help you cope and be strong for your brother. When he recovers the two of you are going to be soooo close.
I will say a special prayer today for you, and will keep you and your brother in my heart.
God bless and know that there are lots of us here for you..