I don't have kids but I studied child psychology and read a lot of books. The best way to handle this type of behavior is taking priviledges away. Take cell phone, tv time, no hanging out with friends, no computer priviledges for a long time if not for good. Maybe make her do chores instead of going out. Stop taking her shopping, no more spending. That makes a bigger difference than yelling, or fighting with her about it. Everytime she gives you attitude or talks back, take something from her. You literally take it, so your husband can't give it back.
