OK so it looks like I'm not the only one struggling with this.
I want to do free shipping over a certain amount, but my current e-commerce site won't allow it. Luckily my husband is a programmer so he offered to find me a new solution or write one. I just need to tell him how I want it to work, so thats what I'm trying to figure out.
Thank you all for your responses. I actually do like that my site gets so close to the actual shipping costs. I sat and entered the USPS shipping table from 1-70 pounds to each state. It took days. Then I weigh every item. So far we've been happy with priority mail.