Quote:
Originally Posted by lidarose  Maybe we could start a 'grief group' here on YT. People are always experiencing loss of one kind or another and we trust each other here. I don't always trust strangers with my emotions, I'm not always comfortable discussing painful things with just anyone. |
I agree....i feel awkward talking to people i dont know. i love YT because i feel so comfortable here! thats why i turned to you guys when i was about to lose my mind yesterday! i want to thank you all so very very much! all of your posts made me cry but it also makes me feel soo much better to hear from people that care and understand. i spoke to my doctor from home and i am going back on medicine. hopefully that will help me get through this rough patch so i can continue on with my life. i know she wants me to be happpy but part of me doesnt want to be without her. i just dont understand why God does these things?! i used to have such strong faith and now i am so angry and hurt. i feel myself slipping into depression so it is a good thing that i talked to you all and have decided to get on medicine. when it comes down to it.....I WANT HER BACK!!! i want to call her and hug her and watch movies with her and hear her laugh! i feel like it has been so long and i would give anything for just one more day with her! I find myself calling her phone sometimes too, and sometimes i think i see her and i will run out from where i am at, im sure i loook crazy! but for me the worst is the dreams....i will often have dreams about her as if she was still alive, but they do not comfort me. instead i wake up depressed bc i have to relive telling myself it was just a dream and she really is gone! i dont want anyone to think i am an unkind person, bc i was always the most loving person in the world, but now i find myself not wanting to love anyone else for fear of losing them! i am terrified God is going to take someone else from me! it is almost consuming at times, and i try to bring myself back to reality but i find myself pulling away from everyone...